6.26.2013

In the Light of the Supermoon



A superstar / beautiful, charming, lovely, full breasted /
meets a superhero / red, blue, strong and full chested / 
at the supermarket / bright, bustling, loud, and fully stocked.
Together they fight supernatural things / the haunted, the mysterious / their force brings forth shock.
They make love 'neath the Supermoon / round, yellow, now at its fullest.
They are a superlative / the best, the most, the biggest and brightest /
Until a supernova swallows them all / the moon, the sky, their green and blue planet /
Proving that one and for all, it is mightiest.




Photograph by Quynh Ton, Your Shot via National Geographic

6.25.2013

Your Time Left on Earth: One Day vs. 30 Years vs. One Hundred Years



This week's Freakonomics podcast had listeners weigh costs and benefits of a different kind of economics question: if you had a 50/50 chance of getting Huntington's disease in the future and you were given a chance to take a test to confirm whether or not you will get the disease, would you take the test? Currently there are no treatments or preventative measures for the disease (excluding choosing not to have children thereby choosing to prevent passing the gene to the next generation).

If I knew that I carried the gene, would I change the way I live my life? Sure, I wish that my family could all be together. But I want to see the world. I also want my independence. I love, miss, and appreciate my family because of our limited time together. I wouldn't be anywhere else than I am right now if I knew that I carried the gene.

If I knew that I carried the gene, would I choose to cut my significant other out of my life so as not to burden him? I suppose that wouldn't be my choice entirely, but I know that with or without the gene, I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Would I choose a different career path or job? There are many people out there sitting with a desk job that they hate and waiting for some kind of sign, for the "right timing", or otherwise some kind of permission from someone other than their self to go after the job that they really want. Not me. My friends know that I complain about my job every now and then these days, but I complain about it on days that I don't get to be with the kids. I complain about my job on days that I'm not teaching. I love teaching, my coworkers, and my students. Teaching helps me feel connected with people; it makes me feel purposeful; it gives me a reason to laugh, smile, and help someone every day. I can't imagine trading in my teaching job for any other job in the world. Regardless of how many days I have left on Earth, it's what I want to be doing right now.

Would I decide to quit all of my responsibilities and live a life of music, travel, running, and reading? After spending more days unemployed and without responsibility than I liked, I learned that I need to be a part of something bigger. I love reading, but at the end of the day, all I have is a list of books read. I love traveling, but a girl's gotta come home some time. Personal improvement feels wonderful is and important, but it's meaningless unless you can share it with others or use it for a cause greater than your self.

If there's one thing I can be at peace with right now, it's knowing that I do all that I can to lead the most fulfilling life that I possibly can. Not that I'm some self-actualized 24-year-old with nothing but smooth sailing ahead; I have my share of insecurities, disappointments, and am still working hard to make my mark on the world. But I'm living the best I can, whether I have one hundred years ahead of me or one day. I know that I love with my whole my heart, however big or small my heart may be. I seek to be a better person than I was yesterday. I dream early and I dream often. I make plans to make those dreams realities and work at 'em with all my might. I'm happy knowing that battles aren't easily won, that I've fought many, and that I win more than I lose. Not knowing how many more days, years, or decades I have ahead of me won't change how I fight my battles. After all, I could be hit by a car and die regardless of whether I carried the gene for Huntington's or if I didn't carry the gene--in which case, knowing that I had the gene wouldn't have mattered anyway.

Would you live your life any differently if you knew that you carried the gene for Huntington's disease?

In the Philippines: A 92-Year-Old Tattoo Artist


Unfortunately, the video I had posted got deleted. Here's another blogger's post about her own experience with this woman.

She's beautiful.
"I'm very grateful for the visit of people from around the world who want a tattoo because they give meaning to my life." -Whang-od

Here's hoping for a chance to get inked in the motherland by this lady!

6.24.2013

"Do Americans Eat Rice?"

“Do Americans like rice?” an earnest Japanese student asked me. As an American and an ex-pat living in Japan, I’m constantly at odds with questions about American culture and tradition, such as  questions about food, dress, religion, politics, education, health care, language, tradition, family values, pop culture, rock culture, poop culture, public transportation, large suburban homes and bustling sleepless cities, Lady Gaga, First Lady Obama, taxes, taxi rates, Disneyland, and Disney World. I was hired to serve as a high school English teacher and post facto international ambassador for Japanese students’ culture-related questions.

 

We Japanese take off our shoes when we enter a building. Do Americans do that?

We Japanese use chopsticks and many small dishes when we eat. How do Americans eat?

We Japanese eat rice with every meal. Do Americans eat rice?

 

Some of their questions are easy to answer:

 

Is it true that Americans often take Advil instead of visiting the doctor? Yes.

 

Is it true that most Americans only use toilet paper and no water to wipe their derriere after they use the toilet? Yes.

 

Some are slightly tricky:

 

Do Americans usually call it ‘autumn’ or ‘fall’?  I’m from California, where we have spring and summer. When the temperature dips below 60°F, we call it winter--so I guess my answer to your questions is: No.

 

Most questions are truly impossible:

 

We Japanese eat cake on Christmas and sweet, sticky rice on New Year’s Day.What do Americans traditionally eat on Christmas and New Year’s Day? Candy canes and, uh, leftover candy canes?

 

What is your favorite American dish? …California burritos?

 

Is your nose piercing part of your American culture? Not really… but well, sure, OK.

 

And finally:

 

Are you half-American?

 

By my black hair, tan skin, round, brown eyes, and 5’0” stature, you might guess that I’m Vietnamese, Hawaiian, maybe part-Mexican, but definitely some kind of Asian. Final answer: full Filipina (by that I mean, both of my parents are from the Philippines… beyond my grandparents generation, “purity” of ethnicity is anyone’s guess). I am a first-generation immigrant. Do Americans like rice? Well, I’m an American, and I have it every day. Do Americans wear their shoes in the house? I’m an American, and I don’t.

 

I grew up with the “it’s our differences that make us unique” mentality—that nothaving a single aspect of culture to unite the United States is what makes America great. We continue to teach youngsters in elementary school about our lack of one shared, common culture under the unit title, “multiculturalism”; in universities, they’re keen on the term “intersectionality”.

 

Despite our culture of don’t-you-dare-assume-who-I-am-or-where-I’m-from and I’ll-identify-as-I-see-fit, if there is one past time we can call truly American, it’s making games of guessing others’ ethnicities. She’s gotta have some Black in her; I bet her dad is BlackHe’s definitely White --I don’t know what kind of White, just White. Look at that baby—it’s so cute… it must be mixed.

 

Even in an age when it’s becoming taboo to ask someone, “what are you?”, we know the half-this, half-that racial breakdown of our friends, colleagues, NicoleScherzinger (half-Filipino, a quarter-Hawaiian, and a quarter-Russian), Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (half-Black Nova Scotian, half-Samoan), and President Barack Obama (half-Kenyan, half-“mostly English”). Amongst my group of friends, we take it a step further and specify how many generations our family has been in the United States: American-born Chinese, second-generation Mexican, fourth-generation Japanese, one-half-generation Filipino. I asked one of my White coworkers where he was from because I couldn’t place his accent. South Africa. “How many generations has your family been there?” I asked. “…huh? I have no idea.” My question, of course, was yet another product of our American obsession for the name-that-identity game.

 

Outside of the States, however, I confuse people if I identify as anything but American first. It is surprisingly easy to convince people of my nationality, despite not being a WASP and despite still sometimes being asked by my thoroughly impressed fellow Americans why I speak English fluently. Perhaps my American-ness is made obvious to strangers abroad by the way my tongue curls up on the sides when I pronounce the letter “r” or my round vowels when I pronounce words like “loud” and “sorry” in true West Coast fashion; more likely, my identity is betrayed by something less flattering, like my candidness, loud volume, or daily uniform of jeans, T-shirt, and sneakers. 

 

In fact, my looks have been so non-telling of anything about my Filipino heritage that when I challenged my class of 14-year-old Japanese students to guess where I’m from, to my naïve surprise, they all guessed correctly on their first try. When I asked what I perceived to be the easier question—“Where do you think my parents are from?”—they enthusiastically shouted, “America!” “Canada!” “Australia!” “England!”. They didn’t guess any Asian countries until I pointed them towards that side of the globe.

 

In our increasingly connected global society, where the color of one’s skin is just finally being understood as an incorrect basis to assume a person’s culture or upbringing, identity labels are now also becoming more complex and less, well, identifying.

 

To my curious students’ credit, their previous English teachers and my foreign coworkers do little to illustrate the definition or difference between culture, heritage, and ethnicity. We teachers consist of a Chinese-Canadian, a Korean-New Zealander, a British-Trinidadian, an Iranian-Brit, and a quarter-Spanish/quarter-Chinese/half Filipino from Australia. Oh, and a Canadian-New Zealander. What does that even mean?

 

Gone are the days that country-hyphen-country necessarily meant where my parents are from-hyphen-my nationality.

 

Gone are the days when the United States carried the title of the lone melting pot of the world. During my recent visit to the Philippines this holiday season, I barely recognized metropolitan Manila as a city of the Philippines: upscale urbanites now consist not only of Filipinos, but also foreign spouses of immigrant Filipinos, their mixed-race families, international businessmen and managers working for call centers, and foreign exchange students studying, believe it or not, English.

 

I’m not claiming that it’s a new phenomenon for cultures and ethnicities to mix. However, I do believe that questions like “where are your parents from?”, “where were you born?”, and “in your culture, do you___?” reveal less and less about an individual. Where were you born? Japan. (What does that reveal to you?) Where are your parents from? The Philippines. (Does that reveal anything more?) What’s your nationality? American. (How about now?) Where does your accent and slang come from? Probably California, maybe even a little from Hawaii, where I lived for a year; or perhaps from mingling with my English teacher coworkers from English-speaking countries like England, Jamaica, Canada, Australia, Scotland, and Singapore.

 

I thought that times were a-changing fast for the Generation-Y global pioneers, but it is a still stranger, unstable, and shrinking world for my 2000s-born students trying to make sense of their own culture and that of others. One of my 16-year-old Japanese students maintains an online romantic relationship with a Russian high school girl; they communicate with each other in English.

 

I’m supposed to teach, or at least be some kind of living example of, foreign culture to my students, but lessons on the subject are moving targets. Perhaps rather than teaching students aspects about particular cultures, we should teach them how to have personal interactions in the global society—that is, not “about” a group of peoples, but rather, how to meet and maintain positive relationships with individuals of different ethnic/national/linguistic/religious backgrounds.

6.23.2013

The Simple Life

Just as a skilled photographer helps us appreciate the startling beauty in the most simple, everyday sights, so to must we never forget the good in simplicity.

When I was working in Oakland, it was a struggle to show up to work because it was so. Damn. Hard. I’m not going to get into that too much. Now, it’s sometimes hard to show up to work because I feel so purposeless… On more days than I’m willing to admit, I show up at 8:14 (just barely on time… not that it matters), sit at my desk and do as I please (read a book, write, study Japanese, surf the web…… … … yup, that about covers it), and clock out at 4:00. I usually get bored out of my mind, sitting in silence for 7 hours and 45 minutes without any tasks or responsibilities. Assistant Language Teachers are often ridiculously under-utilized in JET.

Today, I procrastinated in showing up for work. At the last minute, my stomach felt ever-so-slightly uncomfortable, at which point I contemplated calling in sick. Despite this, I slowly marched through my routine in getting ready for work.

I headed out the door and decided that if I was too late to catch the bus—if all my procrastination had actually led me to missing my bus altogether—that I would call in sick. I sauntered up to my bus stop. My bus pulled up at the same moment: three minutes past its scheduled arrival time. ‘Looks like I’m going to work,’ I thought.

The stuffy, warm, humid, overcast weather is surprisingly soothing and comforting. The dimly lit foyer of the school had an atmosphere that I couldn’t quite name—romantic was the first word that came to mind, but not in that it was beckoning for love; more like it was beckoning for sleep… a lazy, happy, deep, catnap kind of sleep.

Kusano-san, the janitor, greeted me so welcomingly and happily at the entrance that I truly felt like someone was happy for me to be here.

The school is quiet. Students are diligently studying and test-taking in their classrooms.

The Japanese (subject) teacher walked by my desk, on his way to his office in the library. He’s always been very fatherly to me. He speaks to me in English. He teaches me about Japanese culture. He asks me about American culture. He always checks to make sure that I’m OK. Today, he caught my eye at the last second and gave me a friendly wave as he continued down the hall.

I ran into another teacher whom I shared my office space with last school year, but has since moved to another office in the school. I don’t see him as often as I used to. He used to approach my desk all the time to ask me about my studies in Japanese, to ask me about running, and—most frequently—to talk to me about Lord knows what. Not me, I don’t know what he was talking about, because I couldn’t understand him. He only speaks to me in Japanese. Either he doesn’t know that I can’t understand what he’s saying, or he doesn’t care. Regardless, I appreciate the effort. When he saw me today, stopped in his tracks in kind of an “at attention” stance (feet together, toes pointed toward me, arms to his sides) and bowed humbly.

“Konnichiwa,” he said. I smiled and attempted my usual awkward, not-quite-Japanese-enough bow. “Otsukaresamadesu,” I said back. Thank you for your hard work. “Ohisashiburi desu ne. Genki desu ka? Kotoshi, mou atsuku narimashita ja arimasen ka?” he said. Long time no see. Are you well? This year, you haven’t been too hot yet, have you?

‘Yes, I’ve been very hot already!’, I wanted to reply. Or, ‘It’s so humid lately!’ or ‘Where is this June rain that everybody has been telling me about?’

“Uh… atsui. Ha ha,” I managed. ‘I’m hot.’

“Ah, sou desu ka? something something something something…” he replied. ‘Is that so?’ was all that I understood.

I smiled back weakly. We still had a flight of stairs and half of a hallway to go before we arrived at our destination.

“Jitsuwa, kinou, marason ga sankashimashita.” I prayed that this meant that I ran a race yesterday.

“Marason? Sugoi ne. Otsukaresama desu. Nan-kiro? Doko ni?” A race? Wow, that’s great. Good job for working hard. How many kilometers was it? Where was it?

I answered. At this point, we arrived at the staff room, our destination. We walked through the threshold together, and Watanabe-sensei announces to the staffroom about my race. I’m then greeted by a chorus of congratulations.

My students also always make me feel welcomed, purposeful, and loved whenever they greet me around the school and in town. I hope that I have the same effect on them. I walked to and from the train station yesterday instead of my usual taking the bus or riding my bike (my bike is still broken). It takes 35-40 minutes to walk from my house to the station. Along the way, I ran into at least 100 of my students from various schools, all of whom were on their way to their respective schools. I waved hello, said good morning, and wished each one a good day. Well, as many of them as I could, anyway. Luckily, many of them were walking in groups of threes or fours, so this made my feat a bit easier.

On my base school days, I’m given odd jobs—small responsibilities to help individuals. I have weekly extra writing practice meetings with three seniors who are applying to top tier universities. I have weekly English club meetings with first-year students who speak a few words of English, but love English or foreign culture, or me (it’s most certainly a foreigner-philic type of love, but I’ll take it), with whom I have no idea what to do each week, but we enjoy each others’ company anyway. I help our current resident student teacher who is studying to be an English teacher. I grade papers to help out my overloaded coworkers.

This is not glitzy, fast-paced, high-stress lifestyle that I imagined (hoped, even) teaching would be. More days are slow-paced than are tiring. I’m paid to work 35 hours a week, work for 10 of those hours a week, and work hard for only 5 of those hours. You could argue (and I often agree) that what I’m doing does not count as teaching.

But this is my job and this is life. Life is about making connection with people. Life is about adjusting and adapting with the situation and environment. Life is about enjoying what you have and being intrigued/surprised/amazed/perplexed at nuances. Each day, we’re given a finite number of hours. It’s up to us to enjoy those hours. We don’t enjoy our life and the days that make up our lives because of what we have or what we do; we enjoy it when we pay attention to what’s around us, inflate good meaning in small interactions, and maintain a positive outlook.

This is life and I am a person. I am a person who teaches. Teachers are people, not just teachers. We’re allowed to have whole lives, not just really hard work lives.

If I can't "find myself" here--no matter where here is--I run the risk of  endlessly roaming the world, hoping that center-edness is out there somewhere. I didn't find peace in a noisy environment; now, I often feel uncomfortable in this too-quiet environment. But it's me that needs to stop and appreciate the good and the everyday, whatever that may be. It's OK to stay hungry for new adventures, it's OK to be ambitious and hardworking, but it’s also OK to be at peace with a simple life. Right now, it's crucial. This is where I live and how I live; I can't put off happiness for next year or the year after when I'm somewhere else doing something else. Right now and always, it's OK to be happy.

6.22.2013

The Pursuit of --

You're pursing something.
Right now, you're working towards something.
You want it badly.
What is it? Where is it?
Why do you want it? 
How long have you wanted it?
Will it make you happy? Are you unhappy unless you have it?
Will it fulfill you? Are you unfulfilled until you have it?

What do you want? It's hazy now. Why do you want it? It's hazy now.
It's happiness. It's a better job. It's a healthy relationship. It's more time. It's quality time. It's work. It's recreational time.
It's elusive. It comes in and out of focus.
You're happy. You want to be happier. You have like. You want love. You have a home. You want the world. You have the world. You want a home.

Whatever it is that you want,
I hope you work hard for it.
I hope you don't become fooled with easily attainable things,
and think that you've already won,
and think that the adventure is over.
I hope you don't become distracted from what's important.
I hope that you're forced to make tough decisions along the way.
I hope that you appreciate your growth with each battle in your pursuit.
I hope you collect sweet memories along the way,
I hope you make and cherish supportive and loving relationships along the way,
I hope you become smarter, stronger, and more courageous along the way.

I hope you dream big--bigger than you can ever attain--
not much bigger, only slightly.
I hope that your pursuit never ends.
I hope that you cherish that pursuit.
You're pursuing something.
You're giving it all you've got.
And that's good enough.